How I had sex and dated while living in a van for 4 years

  • When you hear that I lived in a van for 4 years, many individuals ask the way it has affected my private life.
  • Sex in a van is similar as exterior a van, however with much less headroom.
  • Van-life relationships will be robust and rewarding. The key’s to set clear boundaries.

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Love, sex, and relationships will be messy, no matter your life circumstances. It will be particularly difficult whenever you reside in a van, as I selected to do for 4 years.

Here are my solutions to among the most typical questions folks ask me about how life on the highway has affected my sexuality and love life, and the teachings I’ve discovered from the relationships round me.

Is sex completely different in such a small area?

Sex in a van is like sex wherever else, however with much less head.

Most vans have a mattress platform in the again and headroom can range from 5 ft to a very comfy 2 ft.

The limiting issue is whether or not or not each folks can comfortably sleep in the area. If you may’t do it, you must be inventive.

What did you study from having sex in a van?

Kaya Lindsay in front of the van

I moved from childhood to a minivan in 2016.

Kaya Lindsay



These are among the most vital issues I’ve discovered about being sexually energetic alongside the way in which.

  • Baby wipes are your pal for cleanliness.
  • Sexual well being and upkeep are nonetheless vital, so all the time urinate after sex to cut back your probabilities of getting a urinary tract an infection. Your urinal ought to be shut by.
  • Some positions, reminiscent of Cowgirl, are usually not very potential until you’ve a lot of area or determine to carry one thing to the ground.
  • Position your self and your accomplice contained in the van for lengthy journeys to cut back vibration and vibration. If you rock vehicles back and forth as a substitute of entrance to again, they are going to vibrate extra.
  • Be protected while doing the work and entry Forest Service land or campsites. At least get some heavy-duty curtains.

What’s it like living so near your accomplice?

Living in a van with somebody is actually enjoyable. It’s nice to have an journey accomplice with you to share journey music with and admire the starry sky, however living in a small area and managing journey logistics collectively will also be actually difficult.

The most typical relationship mannequin I see is 2 folks living collectively in a van. This typically works effectively as a result of many individuals in this case have determined to maneuver out of the home or condo and transfer into the van collectively.

When you are in a relationship on the go, you instantly cope with each little, awkward element. Neither of you’ve wherever to go, so you should resolve the battle instantly. In addition, you all the time, and I imply as all the time, cleansing one after the opposite.

For some folks, this dynamic ends the connection in a short time. For others, they assist strengthen the trigger they work for.

How does the connection change when two folks reside in completely different vans?

Kaya Lindsay stands between the two vans

Some {couples} reside in separate vans however go locations collectively.

Kaya Lindsay



If you’re single and touring, chances are high you’ll meet another person who’s single and touring. When this occurs, it is solely pure that the 2 of you determine to journey someplace collectively for a while.

Finding parking for two vans in campgrounds, pals’ driveways, and heaps is way more tough than discovering a spot for one.

Two vans can generally really feel too uncomfortable to journey with. I additionally observed that you simply spend most of your time in whichever van has the larger mattress.

What’s it like to speak to somebody who lives in a home whenever you reside in a van?

You meet a lot of fantastic folks whenever you journey in a van, and lots of them have houses.

My greatest recommendation is to attempt to keep out of their driveway immediately. When living on the highway, you may alter to a shared way of life by sharing campsites and dinners with close by strangers. But keep in mind: most individuals do not feel this fashion about their area. So, do not be a jerk.

I’ve discovered it is best to not deal with your accomplice’s home as a place to examine off your to-do listing, otherwise you’ll kill your romance. Most folks do not such as you coming into city to sleep in their driveway, bathe, do laundry, and then go away.

What should you reside at house and your accomplice lives on the highway?

Kaya Lindsay stands on top of a van in the desert

I’m used to the communal nature of van life, which is uncommon and not frequent in many different locations.

Kaya Lindsay



If you are on the opposite finish of this dynamic, really feel comfy setting boundaries should you, a homebody, meet somebody particular who lives a nomadic way of life.

Setting boundaries along with your accomplice can appear tough, particularly in the event that they wrestle to search out different locations to park, nevertheless it’s vital to satisfy your wants. You’re paying hire or a mortgage to reside in your house, however they do not.

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