How emotionally intelligent people use recycling rules to disrupt their brains and change their habits

Emily is a passionate entrepreneur who does a lot of things right … But she is also close to work.

Emily plans to close the store on Friday and spend the weekend with her family. But a potential client asked for a meeting this Saturday, but he couldn’t say no. Sunday isn’t even a day off because he’s trying to meet a major project deadline.

The same thing happens from week to week, month to month.

Emily is always tired. He knows that overwork is easy to get angry here. He feels bad every time he misses his son’s football games.

However, he cannot stop his work. He believes it is impossible to say no. No matter how hard he tries, he can’t seem to get rid of his bad habits.

Whether you face a similar situation or not, you can report Emily’s struggle. You may feel like a victim of your brain’s emotional programming and there is nothing you can do to change it.

If you feel like Emily, you can benefit from the methodology I learned from a psychologist a few years ago. It is based on the principles of emotional intelligence, understanding and managing your emotions.

I like to call it the Admission Rules.

What are recycling rules and how can they help you rebuild your brain and replace your bad habits with better ones?

Before answering that question, let us take a closer look at how habits work.

(If you find value in the “Rules of Repetition”, you may be interested in an emotional intelligence course that includes 20 more rules that will help you develop your emotional intelligence. Watch the course here.)

Change your mindset using neurology

This is a misconception that the adult brain is static or otherwise stable in shape and function. In recent years, however, scientists have discovered that the brain has a special property called neuroplastics.

This means that you can control the “programming” of your brain to some degree. Through a combination of concentrated thoughts and purposeful actions, you can “rework” your brain and gain more control over your emotional reactions and tendencies.

Of course, getting rid of bad habits is especially difficult, but that does not mean that you need to be merciful forever. Instead, you can use recycling rules to reprogram your thoughts and establish new (and better) habits.

Follow these three steps to follow the iteration rule.

Motivation

If you want to change your habits, you must first have the right motivation. You need to be convinced that the habit needs to change, and you really need to will come to make changes.

To do this, you need to find your “why” voice. Why do you want (and should) change this habit? How do you benefit if you succeed?

Emily, for example, wants to spend more time with her family and strengthen important relationships outside of work. It can also help you reduce stress, get more sleep, and enjoy the weekend.

To do this, he must stop making unnecessary commitments and draw clear boundaries between his work and the rest of his life.

The training

In order to master a new skill, you need to practice it many, many times until it is fully mastered. Before you change your bad behavior, you must first understand why you are reacting.

This requires self-reflection. It can be hard to find time for this, so make an appointment on your calendar – a meeting with yourself. Then remember the last time you said or did something that made you feel bad or regretted it.

Ask yourself the following questions:

  • Why did I react like that?
  • Did my reaction help or hurt me?
  • What would I change if I could do it again?
  • What can I say next that will help me to think more clearly?

After this kind of thinking, Emily realizes that she can’t say no. However, he also understands that his tendency to work has a negative impact on his health and the happiness of his family.

With this in mind, he can set realistic boundaries and work towards a healthy work-life balance. He then mentally rehearses and even rehearses aloud – the next time a client asks for a Saturday meeting or is tempted to spend a beautiful Sunday in the home office.

to use

Now that you’ve done your homework, it’s time to take a test – how do you react in real life.

Every day you have the opportunity to use your experience. When you need to communicate with others, also use a script that you have developed to respond to the criticism in your head.

But remember: some days you are proud of being able to control yourself, and other days you take a step back. If so, return to the self-reflection questions listed above. Take time to identify how you are feeling, think about the consequences, and figure out what you can do next.

As you take every opportunity to integrate these “design habits,” you are actively shaping your emotional responses. Over time, it allows your brain to process and replace bad habits with good ones. You can wake up every day and overcome the emotional challenges that come your way.

And that’s how you use neurology to boost emotional intelligence – and emotions work for you, not against you.

The opinions of Inc.com speakers here are their own personal opinion, not those of Inc.com.

Leave a Comment

Your email address will not be published.