Hey, Millennial Parents, it’s time to take care of the 90s premises

The days are long, the years are long. In the morning, I would fill my cup in the cold and stare at the tiger, wondering what he had prepared for his day. The feet of the walking room. When I went out to find my neighbor’s friends, he shouted after me, “Stay where I can find you!” He meant a place The settlement – an area equivalent to at least four streets and 30 houses. He was not worried. He also knew that someday someone would throw a peanut butter sandwich at me and that I would be crippled at home if my skin was badly peeled off.

The 90s were a different time in raising and educating children. All of this was not perfect, but in some ways it was even worse. People struggling with mental health were told to drown, encourage, suck, and inject. We drank a lot of sugary soda and even less fruit. We certainly haven’t heard of pea paste. But we didn’t even have phones that required security settings or encoding camps that closed in the summer. On the contrary, we had wonderful outdoors and endless unstructured days at our fingertips.

This year I am trying to spend some of the energy from the 1990s on my parents in 2022. Here are the lessons I remember trying to apply, remembering my parents ’efforts at the time.

Delayed satisfaction (and the unthinkable “no”) is good and healthy

I am a parent who tries to say “yes” as much as possible, unless there is a compelling reason to do so. But sometimes that leads to too much yes, which makes my kids uncomfortable (okay, outraged) when they have to wait for something – new glasses from Amazon, pizza that takes more than 15 minutes to bake, and a long line. According to Lara Goodrich, a psychologist in Madison, Connecticut, children in the ’90s were a little better because of TV commercials and searching for information in encyclopedias rather than Alexa.

“I think for parents today, we need to think a little bit about how to teach our children to tolerate resentment, because it’s not so embedded in the world and it’s not our fault,” he said. You can’t stop because our kids never know the rush to run to eat before the show resumes, adding that our kids are watching multiple streaming platforms.

“I remember being dragged to do assignments in a few stores, now we can buy a website or a big box from the store and it was a little less involved,” he says.

But parents don’t have to travel back in time to the ’90s to teach them delayed satisfaction. On the contrary, he says, they can say “no” when necessary and practice sticking to the candy, even if it’s wrong in the aisle. Another idea is to help them do activities outside their comfort zone, such as teaching them a sport that isn’t immediately good, “tough” and tolerant of resentment, he adds.

We did not know the power of boredom

When I was taking my children to four kindergartens / camps / babysitters to hide from work for a few hours on a summer day, I didn’t even know when the yard exploration was ahead. My biggest (only) childhood problem in the 90s was boredom, sharing my dolls, my toy set, and finally my watches with MarioCard. For most people my age, my parents would drive us out to find out what to do and say, “Oh, do you need something? I’ll give you something. ”(Paid laundry). My parents didn’t try to fill my hours with fun – either I could come up with something, or they would put me to work.

Little did they know that they were giving me something very valuable. Studies show that boredom has great benefits for inspiring the creative young mind. Instagram is full A list of activities that will give kids ideas today when they really need boredom motivation. As a parent in 2022, I’m planning a lot of time now (after those camps) where my kids have no plans other than to know what they really want to do and implement it. If they are not, there is always a laundry.

There were several barriers between children and inappropriate content

The only way to deal with something “inappropriate” for your age in the ’90s is if you find your parents’ adult magazines under the bed or, as Goodrich puts it, look at the cover of a blockbuster movie. . Your friend didn’t have unlimited access to your iPhone, which allows you to randomly (or intentionally) search for videos, photos, and instant answers after years.

“Even when you thought, ‘Oh, I want to see what I want to see in my youth,’ you had to plan it, get rid of it, talk to your friends – there was a process that isolated you. Or protected in some way,” he says. “Now kids can stumble on something they never want to accept … I think it’s hard for kids and parents.”

We can’t recreate the ’90s without a phone, but Goodrich says we can deal with this increased availability by having specific and meaningful conversations about inappropriate material until kids accidentally come across it. He called the talks a “protective factor,” meaning a safe space even in a dangerous world where children have quick access to the entire Internet.

And one thing we haven’t forgotten about the 90s…

The nostalgia and retro vibes of the 90s bring millennial parents, but it’s not all Converses and Cheetos. In fact, mental and physical health information has improved significantly over the last three decades. According to Goodrich, we have moved away from the “show anything” mentality to focus on and focus on children with mental health problems. For example, if you won an attendance award in the 1990s, then you received an award for going to school every day (now) due to the fact that you had your first painful period, even if you were ill, or due to the difficult mental health of puberty. , may take you off in some places).

“With strength, a smile and patience, don’t be upset, you overcome it – sometimes it teaches resilience, but I think when it’s too polarized in that direction, it teaches kids how to control or express emotions and work through them, it just closes them or makes them useless. “It’s probably the only thing we won’t miss about the ’90s,” Goodrich said.

Alexandra Frost she is a freelance journalist, content marketing writer, copywriter and editor focused on health and wellness, parenting, real estate, business, education and lifestyle in Cincinnati. Away from the keyboard, Alex is also the mother of four sons under the age of 7, who keep things messy, fun and exciting. For more than a decade, it has been connecting publications and companies with readers to help them deliver high-quality data and research in a reporting voice. She has appeared in the Washington Post, Huffington Post, Glamor, Shape, Today’s Parent, Reader’s Digest, Parents, Women’s Health and Insider.

Alex has a Master of Arts in Teaching from the University of Miami and a Bachelor of Arts in Mass Communication / Journalism. He also taught high school for 10 years majoring in media education.

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